It’s no secret that DC are pretty, let’s be diplomatic and say hit & miss, with their movies, Wonder Woman of course kicked ass, Man of Steel was merely okay, and the less said about Dawn of Justice the better. However, this has never been an issue for most fans of DC because despite the lack lustre big screen adaptations we always had the animated movies and TV shows to fall back on, that was until whichever wombat fucker over at Warner Bros. Animation greenlit Batman and Harley Quinn.(Buckle up, this is going to get…tedious!)
The plot, such as it is, consists of Poison Ivy, the world’s worst supervillain, once again deciding that she has had enough of all these human beings destroying mother earth and teams up with Floronic Man (it’s okay, we don’t know who he is either) to turn everyone on earth into plant people. Apparently failing to see the flaw in her plan, that even if she succeeds people aren’t exactly going to be grateful, will most likely kill her and then probably continue on with their lives, destroying the planet in the process, only now they will be a delightful shade of green.
Batman and Nightwing, wishing to remain chlorophyll free, decide that they will need to find Harley Quinn, who was recently paroled and no longer as mad as a bottle of twats, because she is Poison Ivy’s best friend. Batman, of course, is too cool for that menial shit and farms it out to Nightwing, who finds Harley waitressing in a diner. After asking for her help she then has the cast iron fucking balls to get pissy at the fact she can’t get a job as a psychiatrist after all the years of supervillainy and murders she has committed! Really? The first and only patient you had was a psychopathic, homicidal supervillain who you fell in love with and helped escape and now you want a job? Fuck off!(Relax, I’m a doctor!)
Anyway, Harley then drugs Nightwing, ties him to a bed and then sexually assaults him………wait…What!?!? Yep, she doses him with joker venom and when he comes to, he is tied to a bed while a semi naked supervillain is making sexual advances, now, Nightwing does admit it “might be nice” but let’s bear in mind she is a known psychotic, killer clown, so he’ll probably say anything to avoid getting murdered.(Wikipedia refers to this scene as an “intimate moment”)
Normally around this point in the article I will stop discussing the plot to avoid spoilers, but in all honesty, I just don’t think it’s worth talking about. I mean the tone is all over the place, one minute it’s tackling an issue like how a reformed mental patient copes with society’s perceptions of her, to a tasteless (to say the least) sex scene and then to fart jokes. So, let’s do what Warner Bros clearly did and ignore the plot and move swiftly on to everything else that’s terrible about this train wreck.
For Starters, Melissa Rauch’s performance as Harley Quinn, it is appalling how bad she is, I honestly don’t know what Warner Bros where thinking when they thought she would be a good choice, not only is she not a good voice actor, but she’s not even a good screen actor. I’m not saying that the two have the same skill set, I mean just look at Peter Dinklage, but normally these executive arse pirates think that if they can do tv they can do voice work, so why hire someone who is crap at both?(Oh God, I AM terrible!)
Normally I wouldn’t be as worked up, but Harley Quinn was originally voiced by Tara Strong, one of the most amazingly talented voice actresses in the industry. It just goes to show that talent means nothing to these bastards, they just want a big name attached, fuck you Warner Bros.
Then we have what they have done to Harley Quinn as a character, while she did start out as a mere sidekick to The Joker, she has since escaped that abusive relationship, become a member of the suicide squad (not the shit movie) and generally become a more well-rounded character. To then be reduced back down to “sexy lunatic” is pretty sad.(So sad.)
Well I suppose I should try to mention something positive about this bollocks to at least appear professional, and I will admit that it was great to see Kevin Conroy and Loren Lester reprise their roles as Batman & Nightwing and deliver the same consistently great performance that we have come to expect from both of them. And I got to say that the animation is amazing, I feel like it captured the feel of the classic Batman: The animated series but at the same time felt modern and I would love to see more of it in the future.
Sadly, the few positive things about Batman & Harley Quinn are vastly outweighed by the negatives, a lazily written story that seems to only exist to cash in on the current popularity of Harley Quinn, but removes the character of any personality beyond eye candy goofball. And while Conroy and Lester’s performances are to be commended, they are never the less brought down by Melissa Rauch’s weak voice acting skills, a disappointing movie to say the least.