While my review of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker may be finished, it turns out I have more bile than I know what to do with, except I do know what to do with it, complain on the internet! That’s right, I had so many problems with this film that for the first time ever I am doing a two part blog post to go along with a review just to hammer home how much of a balls up this film turn out to be. So here, in my opinion, is Everything Wrong With The Rise of Skywalker: Part 1.
What they did with Rose Tico
A lot, and I mean a lot, of fans didn’t like Rose’s character in The last Jedi, some went as far as harassing the actress who played her, but I actually liked her. Okay, she felt a little tact on, superfluous to the story but she was sweet and endearing and brought a humanising element to a grandiose setting. Her character reminded us that caught in the middle of these grand battles of good and evil there are people, families, that are getting caught in the cross fire. Her character certainly could’ve been handled better; but to all but erase her character from the final movie was a huge misstep. There was so much potential with the character of Rose and to throw all that away at the behest of screeching anons is both cowardly and sad.(“You bastards!”)
Healing in the Star Wars universe is nothing new (despite what Kathleen Kennedy would have you believe), it is an ancient ability Jedi Masters take decades to perfect. But not Reyus Ex Machina, (and yes I am both very proud and very smug about coming up with that one) she just knows how to use this powerful force power with no explanation given, and then she goes and uses it on a snake that happens to be the key to their salvation. There are a hundred better ways this ability could’ve been introduced, some of which would’ve been beneficial to the story, but fuck narrative cohesion right?(“Heal this!”)
Kylo Ren/Ben’s Fate
In the first film Kylo Ren came off as an angst riddled, bratty child who was doing a very poor Darth Vader impersonation and while he did get a little more depth in the sequel I always thought he deserved better. Then comes the opening scene of “The Rise of Skywalker” were he is portrayed as this badass warrior cutting down waves of enemies like they were nothing. Add to that a few moments throughout the film, his return to light and subsequent destruction of The Knights of Ren, (his dark legacy) it really fleshed out his character. Now, if I were writing this movie I would have kept Ben around and forced him to be held accountable for his actions, make him earn his redemption and place in the group. There’s endless potential for story there and don’t give me that “this is the last film” shite! If you believe that Disney won’t wring another set of sequels out of this franchise you’re a fool. (At least he didn’t die of sadness)
Poe Dameron’s Growth
I love Poe’s character, you know, before they tried to turn him in to a poor man’s Han Solo, he starts out as this cocky fighter pilot who takes risks, but by the end of “The Last Jedi” he is a General who has come to understand the complexities of command. But fuck all that character growth, put him back into a space ship and send him off on suicide missions, I mean it’s not like the resistance needs him to lead or anything.(This is literally all he does for this potion of the movie!)
You wanna bring back one of the most iconic movie villains of all time then you best think of an amazing reason as to why this person has survived being hit with their own force lightening, thrown down an exploding shaft and an exploding Death Star. What’s that? You’re just going to ignore it? Fine but you better not make him the progenitor of a supremely powerful Jedi… I said don’t do that JJ Abrams! Bringing Palpatine back from the dead after all he endured is one thing, but to do it with so shitty an explanation, not to mention off screen, is just a kick in the balls to fans.(“The Bitch is Back!”)
Well, that was part one of “Everything Wrong With The Rise of Skywalker”, check back tomorrow for part two. In the mean time can you think of anything that should’ve made the list or just disagree? Let us know in the comments below, don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, Facebook and subscribe to our YouTube channel and if you’re feeling generous feel free to donate to our Patreon, thanks for reading.