5. Bowser
“Bowser?” I hear you scoff, “Bowser, has never won against Mario, in fact he gets beaten every time and even goes go-karting with his enemy”, well that’s where you’re wrong ass monkeys, because he is secretly a genius who manages to destabilise the mushroom kingdom by kidnapping their monarch and throwing there society into chaos, while allowing Bowser’s working class people to thrive. Also he breathes fire, do you? Didn’t think so.
(How did he have kids without genitals?)
4.Vaas Montenegro
“Did I ever tell you the definition of annoying?”, it’s Vaas Montenegro, this shit-lord of a bad guy, is constantly catching you off guard, tossing you off cliffs and taunting you until you just want to strangle the bastard, but I happily settled for stabbing him a bunch of times. He kidnaps people and sells them into slavery, murders folk and is just a shit to be around, an all-round bad guy!
(Oh look, 20 somethings on holiday, it’s murder time!)
3. Dr. Fetus
I had to put this guy in, because quite frankly Dr. Fetus is a prick! The game starts with this little bastard kicking meat boy’s ass, stealing his missus, giving him the finger and the running away like a sissy. And for the rest of the game this arse parsnip shows up, gets his ass kicked, manages to kidnap Bandage Girl and flip you off while making his escape, what a jerk. He is the classic damsel stealing, monocle wearing, and moustache twirling bad guy!
(Well fuck you too!)
2.The Joker
While The Joker is not restricted to video games like the rest of the villains on this list, it would be impossible to have a top five villain list and not have him on it. Right from the beginning of Arkham Asylum when he fools Batman into bringing him to Arkham so he can take over the place and wreck everyone’s day, right up until he is squatting in the Dark Knights subconscious toying with his sanity like some kind …of..evil..clown he is an awesome bad guy. He is everything a good villain should be, evil, crazy, funny with a dash of mass murderer. The pinnacle of video game villainy. 2nd only to……
(It’s funny because he kills people!)
1. Sephiroth
This platinum blonde with mommy issues and an exotic name had two choices, try and destroy the planet with all powerful cosmic magic, so he could restart humanity and be worshiped like a God, or strip. And fortunately for us the 7th heaven bar stopped hiring strippers after the incident with materia and a ping pong paddle, so Sephiroth chose the former. He really is an awesome bad guy, he destroys cities by resurrecting ancient living weapons, he drives Cloud mad and he kills more people than smoking! If that doesn’t earn you top villain I don’t know what does.
(My stripper name would’ve been silver)
Think we’ve missed any or just disagree? Leave a comment down below.
