This has got to be the first time in my writing career that a film has been so bad that I have been unable to quarantine my displeasure to a scathing review alone. Hell, by writing this two part blog post I have proved that one review and one article isn’t enough. But rest assured after this article The Rise of Skywalker will be safe from me, omitting one or two snarky comments in future reviews of course. So get those umbrellas out because here comes more boiled piss with part 2 of “Everything Wrong With The Rise of Skywalker”!
Like I said in my “Rise of Skywalker” review, I personally was a big fan of the idea that Rey’s parents were no-one special. I love the notion that her power and abilities came from her connection to the force and not because she was descended from a powerful Sith or Jedi bloodline. Not only was it a wonderful way of saying that anyone could be special; it was a great way for these new characters (and movies) to step out of the shadow of the original characters. But no, not good enough, make her Obi Wan’s niece or Mace Windu’s third cousin twice removed, which ,frankly, is more believable than the idea that someone fucked The Emperor.(Oh you know he uses the force to f**k!)
Leia’s Secret Jedi Training
Don’t get me wrong I love the idea that Leia is a Jedi and trained with Luke, but to only mention it briefly near the end of the final movie in the Star Wars saga is fucking stupid. It is so obvious from the way this was handle that it was never the plan for her to be a trained Jedi. Okay, she uses the force to save herself in The Last Jedi, but that felt more like an instinctual thing as opposed to something she could control. Make a comic about her training or better yet a TV show and do Princess Leia justice!(Bad-ass to the end!)
Finn rebelled because of The Force
Finn starting out as a First Order Trooper was a wonderful piece of character development, not only was it a great origin but it was a fantastic way of humanising “The First Order Troopers”. That they were more than just blaster fodder, they were living, breathing believers in their cause, or not, as the case may be. So when Finn meets Jannah in ROS and we see that there are others like him who rebelled it was a touching moment, until we’re told they did it because of the force and not because their conscience said “killing innocents was wrong”.(“The force told me to me grow my hair out.”)
A Fleet of Death Stars
Remember when the first Death Star was referred to as “the ultimate power in the universe” in A New Hope? Or when the rebels scrambled to destroy the second Death Star in Return of The Jedi because they feared it’s power so much? Didn’t those moments give these machines a awe inspiring sense of power? These moments made the very idea of these genocidal monstrosities almost mythic. Well turns out The Emperor had a fleet of these bastards just lying around and was able to fully staff them without raising suspicion.(God this this decision was stupid!)
To me Rey and Ben Solo’s relationship could best be described as frenemies, brother/sister at a push, but not lovers! The kiss they shared on screen was one of the most uncomfortable in the Star Wars universe and that’s saying something. It is just so out of the blue, there was no real set-up hinting at a possible romance between them. I was so taken aback that when it happened that I said “oh, they’re in love?” out loud in the cinema. I could’ve over looked this if they had planned to keep Ben around to redeem himself, but they kill the poor bastard off, so why tack on an unnecessary and most important uncomfortable kiss?(Still not as creepy as the Ben/Rey kiss!)
Well, that was part two of “Everything Wrong With The Rise of Skywalker”, can you think of anything that should’ve made the list or just disagree? Let us know in the comments below, don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, Facebook and subscribe to our YouTube channel and if you’re feeling generous feel free to donate to our Patreon, thanks for reading.